


If Only For Tonight

by yurimaxwell



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25108306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yurimaxwell/pseuds/yurimaxwell
Summary: Some things are never meant to be... but can Eriol and Tomoyo have their heart's desires... if only for tonight?
Relationships: Eriol Hiiragizawa/Daidouji Tomoyo
Kudos: 5





	1. To Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: CLAMP owns CCS.

She stood, dark eyes fixed resolutely on the stately mansion before her, not once betraying the myriad of emotions swirling around in her head. Why was it that every time she wandered off into the night, her feet took her here? Why was it that every time she gave her mind free reign, it insisted on conjuring images of their time together, his touch, his kiss, the look he reserved only for her. It made her dwell on things she vowed to avoid, things she had to forget. It was was all wrong. And yet she can't help herself to stay away.

A gust of wind blew and she pulled her cardigan tighter around her. She didn't know what possessed her to come here-to this place. She was only complicating matters for herself by being here. She should be as far away from this place as possible. Yet, she can't help the yearning to be with him, to see him...if only for the last time.

"You shouldn't be here."

She whirled around and faced the piercing blue eyes of the one person who turned her whole world upside down. He was right. She shouldn't be here. They had said their goodbyes almost a week ago. There was nothing more to be said, nothing else to be done.

"I know." She said, cool as ice. As serene as a frozen lake, even when she was breaking inside.

She turned to go, face wearing the impassive mask she held up to the world. Just as composed as the one before her. Tears stung her eyelids but she knew they will not fall. At least, not till she was alone.

"Wait..." His hand grabbed her arm.

"I shouldn't be here," she said, voice level, in control, even as the storm raged within her.

"Yes. But...Tomoyo don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere. You are."

* * *

She ran, tears finally flowing freely as she tried to get as far away from his house as possible. She shouldn't have gone there to begin with. There was nothing more to be done, nothing more to be said. They had made their decision. All that's left is her getting used to a life without him. She did not understand why every part of her being insisted on being here tonight. It could only end in pain.

Just a short exchange and he had managed to bring down the walls she had started to build. Goodbye shouldn't be so hard, especially with something so wrong. Everything had been easy last week. She should have left it that way. She shouldn't have come here. She didn't belong in his life. And he shouldn't be in hers.

She shook her head trying to clear the tears. She shouldn't be crying. They both agreed that this was for the best.

She continued to run, looking up just in time to avoid colliding with someone.

"I'm sorry. Excuse me..." she said, keeping her head bent, trying to hide her eyes. She began to move away and started when the stranger suddenly took hold of her hands.

"Tomoyo, please."

She took a deep steadying breath before finally looking up. "Let me go, Eriol."

"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

"You should. You did. " she answered, trying to pull away from him.

"We have to talk..." Eriol begged, azure eyes looking steadily at her, not letting go of her hand. "Please..."

"We've said all there is to say."

"Not everything. Please."

She let out a sigh before nodding slowly. If it was any other day, the thought of a begging Eriol Hiiragizawa would have sent her into a laughing fit. However, this was no ordinary day and certainly no ordinary circumstances. Tomoyo knew she would regret this. But what was another bad decision amidst an ocean of wrong? Not to mention she never could say no. Not to him. That's what got her in this mess in the first place. She never could resist him.

He led her through a clearing and onto a nearby bench. They sat together, side by side, neither one looking at the other. They were close enough to touch yet no one dared bridge the gap.

"I'm sorry."

"Yes. You've mentioned that before."

"Tomoyo... I ... it wasn't supposed to end like this."

"And how is something that never should have started supposed to end? It shouldn't have happened to begin with. We both agreed. We knew what we were getting into. Don't make it even harder than it should be."

The logical part of him agreed with her a hundred and ten percent. It was supposed to be an indulgence, nothing more. One night, something they can blame on one too many drinks. Something to cross off, no repeats. Who would've known that crossing that line would give them the one thing they thought they would never find.

"I love you." Eriol whispered desperately.

"I know. But it's not enough, isn't it? At least, not for you."

"Tomoyo..."

"I really should go Eriol." She stood up but froze as he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair.

"I love you." he said again, turning her to face him. He reached out to cup her face in his hands, fingers wiping away her tears.

And then his lips were on hers, moving in that sensual dance that was always her undoing. Something that felt this right could not be wrong, right? Or so said the stupid child, before they made a mistake. And still she let herself be swept away, forgetting everything, everything but him. The night made possible what the harsh light of day condemned to be wrong. And whatever she might think after, for now, only tonight was real.

* * *

He stood by the window, watching the sleeping form on the bed. He had asked for a chance to talk. But really, what was there left to say? Sorry would never make things better and I love you only brought pain. Tonight will be the last time he would hold her, the last time he would allow himself to see her. In a few hours, he will face his destiny. He will go where he was needed, where he was meant to be, even if it meant leaving the one person he needed the most. His life had been mapped even before his existence. She was nothing but a detour. In the end the destination was still the same. What they had did not matter in the grand scheme of things.

He knelt by the bed, smoothing a lock of hair that hid part of her face from view. "I love you Tomoyo," he whispered, before briefly pressing his lips to hers.

A final glance, and he was out of her life.

* * *

She lay on the bed, bathed by the moonlight from the open windows. She looked as perfect as a slumbering angel, her beauty marred only by the continuous flow of tears from her eyes.

"I love you too... Eriol."


	2. Epilogue

Kaho Mizuki stood by the window, looking out into the moonlit night. She knew Eriol was out there... with HER.

Tomoyo was lovely, talented. She provided a pretty distraction for one such as Eriol. Something that would amuse him, maybe catch his attention for a brief period of time. Who would've thought that a mere distraction would blossom into something deeper, something both of them could not control.

And yet, Eriol was hers. Tomorrow they will return to England and all would be well. Tomorrow, they'll pick up where they left off before he went to Japan. They would leave the past in Tomoeda. They would leave HER.

This is what she wanted, didn't she? This was what she was meant to do, whar she was destined to be. He was hers. His place was with her, the one who knew him, who understood him, who could give him what he needed. She was strong. She may not be his equal, but she was, in her own way, his match. Tomorrow she would have him.

Tomorrow...

But is it enough? Living with him, being with him, knowing that she couldn't have all of him? His heart never belonged to her. Never had and never will. He will go with her to England. But he will be leaving his heart behind, along with the only true love he'd ever known.

She glanced at the empty bed. He was out there, somewhere, somewhere she could not reach.

And yet, he was hers. She should be happy. They were destined to be. Tomorrow she will smile, a happy smile for their life together. Tomorrow, tonight will be no more. He would be hers.

Tomorrow... how she wished tomorrow would come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original publishing date: 5 May 2003 (Fanfiction.net)


End file.
